My first book.

Will and I went back to New Jersey two weekends ago for a glorious visit at home.  My mom kindly had put all my things in banker boxes and storage bins, and was very excited for me to go through it all and decide what to keep or throw away.  I didn't end up making much progress (sorry, Mama) because we were quickly distracted by the many gems we found.  (I was a prolific author and cartoonist in my day.)  The following is definitely a favorite among the discoveries.  Please enjoy the 20th anniversary edition of my first book, written for an assignment in second grade.  It was a simpler time.

Actually kind of looks like him.

His mom, however, was indifferent.

Ever supportive Barb.

Pew pew pew pew look out for lone Japanese man with laser gun pew pew pew mayday mayday

Happy Marrige!

Only dropped him once or twice.

Wait....John??????????

Back when I thought working in oil and gas meant using a bicycle pump to extract that sweet black gold.

Reagan, praise his name.

Definitely busy.

No one will ever take that away from him.
Also this was back when I thought both candidates waited for the election results together on a stage...  
...Can we make that happen this year?

Skunk's alive.

On this, one day after their 37^th anniversary, I would like to dedicate this post to my parents, the unbeatable Jim and Jane. 

A recent (mis)adventure of theirs continues to warm my heart and I want to share it with the world.

A pesky groundhog has been living under our poolhouse for quite a while now, so my parents decided it was time to evict him.  Rather than have an exterminator do the job, they purchased and set up a trap from Home Depot and planned to release the groundhog into the Great Swamp once he was caught.  The following morning, however, they awoke to troublesome news: the groundhog was still cozy under the poolhouse and they had caught a skunk instead.

None of the exterminators in the area provide service on Sundays, so Jim and Jane had to improvise (or else have a baked skunk on their hands).  After consulting the internet and some more nature-minded friends, they decided to cover the cage to shield Skunky from the hot sun and to keep him from spraying.

Apparently, skunks will not spray if they can’t see you, and they are soothed by the slow, floating approach of a large, blue Snuggie.  Armed with this information (and of course, a blue Snuggie), James bravely risked his usual scent of Old Spice and baby powder for the task of covering the cage.  And Jane, with her ever-steady hand, videotaped the whole thing for posterity.

(How calmly he walks away at the end!  I would have bolted.)

The skunk got picked up on Monday.  After all that, my parents decided to let the groundhog remain in his residence under the pool house.  When asked for comment on this story, Jane said, “I don’t think we’ll try again for the groundhog.  We feel like amateurs.  Should pay the pros.”

I, for one, am glad they didn’t.  Not only did this episode provide my sisters and me with great entertainment (“Oscar-worthy footage”, said one), it is yet another example of how my parents continue to confront life’s challenges as a united team, armed with tenacity and good humor.  Happy anniversary—here’s to many more years of catching skunks and taking names.

A Disavowal of Christopher "Chris" Christie.

I am sorry to break the news that I must on this blog that my very own denounce and disavow the New Jersey governor, the dishonorable Chris Christie, who has given up his very soul in a foolish and misguided bid for the vice presidency of the United States of America.  My feelings on the governor have come a long way since I first saw his lawn signs in New Jersey back in 2009 and thought, “that’s a dumb name”.  While I do not agree with him on every issue, I formerly liked and respected him, I naively and disastrously underestimated the depths of his thirst for power and can no longer support his actions.  He is such a pragmatist, not that he sold his soul to a pyschopants demagogue in exchange for keeping his name in the news and his political career alive.  But, as it is written, "for what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?" (I'm sure his new overlord can give him some tips.)  His Jersey ‘tude will be wasn't really missed that much in this race.  

Nevertheless, I have had been calling Marco Rubio a robot for a long time, so I still do really appreciate that Chris Christie confronted him on this and brought the issue to the national stage.  That particular clip of him destroying poor baby Marco in Saturday’s debate was the first thing I saw Monday morning after I woke up (thank you, Erin) and it had me totally jazzed.  I practically leapt out of bed and fist pumped my way to the shower. will always bring me joy.

So Governor Christie, I know Bruce Springsteen probably didn’t let you use any of his songs on the campaign trail, but baby, you were born to run, is ashamed of you.  But I am just ashamed of myself for having been fooled by your brilliant disguise.

I never meant for you to go this far even if only to take Marco Rubio down with you.  Mary Pat, how could you let this happen...

God have mercy on the woman who doubts what she's sure of.

Blobba Kucha.

1.  Will and I are proud that a fellow Rice Owl's theory that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac killer has gained traction on the internet and was even a polling question in Florida.

2.  I sadly bid farewell to Jeb.  The GOP wades ever deeper into whackadoodle waters, confidently spurning all life-preservers of calmness and reason.  Lindsey Graham put it well today, describing his own party as "the team that bought a ticket on the Titanic, after we saw the movie."

3.  Here is the bonus slide from my Pecha Kucha presentation today at work.

Ode to Christopher "Chris" Christie.

I am sorry to break the news on this blog that my very own New Jersey governor, the honorable Chris Christie, has given up his bid for the presidency of the United States of America.  My feelings on the governor have come a long way since I first saw his lawn signs in New Jersey back in 2009 and thought, “that’s a dumb name”.  While I do not agree with him on every issue, I like and respect him.  He is a pragmatist, not a pyschopants demagogue.  His Jersey ‘tude will be missed in this race.  I have been calling Marco Rubio a robot for a long time, so I really appreciate that Chris Christie confronted him on this and brought the issue to the national stage.  That particular clip of him destroying poor baby Marco in Saturday’s debate was the first thing I saw Monday morning after I woke up (thank you, Erin) and it had me totally jazzed.  I practically leapt out of bed and fist pumped my way to the shower. 

So Governor Christie, I know Bruce Springsteen probably didn’t let you use any of his songs on the campaign trail, but baby, you were born to run, even if only to take Marco Rubio down with you.

Good night, Asbeary Park.