I need a drink.

Two “over it” gay dudes (I have named them "Over Eager" and "Vaguely Disgusted") have a very San Francisco conversation on the not-actually-crowded Muni.  The font gets bigger whenever my blood pressure rises.

Over Eager: Oh hey!  You’re missing a wheelchair.

Vaguely Disgusted: What?

(Over Eager points to homeless dude’s empty wheelchair in the car.)

Vaguely Disgusted: Oh. Ha. Right.

Over Eager: So I didn’t know you work around here!

Vaguely Disgusted: Mm, yeah, at Front and Market.

Over Eager: Oh, I work for (undistinguishable nonprofit).

Vaguely Disgusted: Oh wow, good for you saving the world.  Not like me, working in real estate.

Over Eager: Oh stop it!  I am not saving the world, just putting clothes on people’s back.

(chuckle chuckle chuckle)

Over Eager: But seriously, it really makes me feel bad about our consumer culture, you know?  It is just sickening.  We produce so much crap in excess.  Like this vest is American Eagle, so you know it will never biodegrade.  I mean, I guess you could recycle it.

Vaguely Disgusted: Oh my God, it could be a flotation device.

Over Eager: Oh my God, you’re right! 

(chuckle chuckle chuckle)

Vaguely Disgusted: Ugh, I hate this commute, this crowd is giving me anxiety.

Over Eager: Oh my God, I know.  Like, I hate when people just push, you know?  So rude.  Like, this is San Francisco, aren’t people supposed to be nice and have flowers in their hair and stuff?

Vaguely Disgusted: This city has really changed.

Over Eager: Ugh, you’re telling me.  My boyfriend just hates it now.

Vaguely Disgusted: What, with all these miserable young tech people with too much money driving up our rent?  What’s not to love?  How long have you guys lived here?

Over Eager: Oh, three years.

Vaguely Disgusted: Oh wow, I’ve been here fifteen.  I’m just pissed because I’m never gonna be able to move out of my apartment.

Over Eager: Oh my God, us neither.  You’re in rent-controlled too?

Vaguely Disgusted: Yeah, so basically I can never move.

Over Eager: The worst.

Vaguely Disgusted: Alright, well this is my stop.

Over Eager: What are you doing for dinner?

Vaguely Disgusted: Eating.  Alright, see ya later.

Over Eager: Don’t forget your wheelchair!

I don’t think I have the energy to type the rant that is living inside of me.  It’s just mildly infuriating to listen to two people (WHO LIVE IN RENT-CONTROLLED AKA CHEAP RENT APARTMENTS) lazily bitch about what all the native San Franciscans love to bitch about (AND THEY AREN’T EVEN NATIVE SAN FRANCISCANS).  But I will spare you all this rant.

This story does have a happy ending.  What was the first thing I saw upon my exit from the Muni station?  

Westie butt!