An All-American camping trip.

Happy Memorial Day to all and welcome to my latest late blob.  Today, Will and I returned from a lovely camping trip with friends in Clear Lake State Park.  Ranger Darren, after asking us to please respect the quiet hours, told us that Clear Lake may be the oldest lake in the country.  I was happy to hear it was a natural lake, and not one created by the Army Corp of Engineers, whom I have lost most respect for.  (For more information, read Cadillac Desert by Marc Reisner and then call me and we’ll talk about it.) 

We took a brief hiatus from nature to watch the Warriors/Thunder game at a sports bar in nearby Kelseyville.  Guy with an impressive mullet and plumber’s crack at the table next to us was very excitable.  I was tempted to remind him that unfortunately the players cannot hear his coachly wisdom (“STEPH, what are you DOING, MAN?”  “GET IT TOGETHER, DUBS." <fist bang on table> etc) but figured it would be better not to mess with him.  Thankfully, the game turned around for the Warriors in the very exciting last minute or so, so everyone was a happy camper (heh heh).  I was also excited to be in Kelseyville, in honor of my dear friend, Kelsey.  I took lots of pictures of signs for her.  I wish the town were named after her, rather than after Andrew Kelsey, whom, Wikipedia informs me, enslaved Native Americans in the region until they revolted and killed him, which then of course prompted a retaliatory massacre of about 200 Native American men, women, and children.  Can’t wait for President Trump to bring back the good old days. 

We had a really nice time camping, but I’m happy to be back in a real bed tonight.  Only six more work days until family vacation in ITALIA.  Cannot wait.

News alert.

This just in, folks.  Donald Trump's list of 11 potential Supreme Court picks had hardly finished dominating the cable news cycle when he released another 11 potential candidates just minutes ago.  "I can't believe everyone fell for that first list...Sad!" Trump tweeted.  The second set of 11 seems to more fully encompass Trump's vision for America. Mr. Trump was gracious enough to provide us with a bit of insight for each of his new picks.  Let's take a look.

"Mr. Keller is very, very rich.  I approve this message!"

"Larry could even keep Hillary out of jail.  Not that he would!"

"I love ladies with DUIs!"

"Probably on her period! LOL!"

"Ron has been just great at my rallies.  He would be a great justice!  The best!"

"Jeb!  Give this guy a call!"

"This guy will make America great again!"

"He's very good."

"Simon was the best judge.  Tells it like it is!"

"Here's another woman for all you haters and losers!"

"I love the minorities! The minorities love me!"

Soon.

Friends and family, I have good news and news.

Good news: I finally finished Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow.  I now want to read Chernow's biography of George Washington...and I also feel like I need to give Thomas Jefferson another fair shake (I tend to assume the biases of my biographee, so I'm currently thinking TJ is a slippery and conniving son of a gun.  Probably would not be friends with him.  Hamilton, on the other hand...very sexy and totally into it.)  This is all leading me to reevaluate my presidential biography quest.  Will I ever escape the founding fathers?  Shouldn't I read one about Benjamin Franklin?  Is he feeling left out?  Probably.

News: I am taking what I hope will be my LAST ARE on Friday.  (I passed Building Systems!  A vent stack is a stack of vents.)  Send good vibes to San Francisco.  After my exam, I plan to write a more exhaustive review of Alexander Hamilton.  I wanted to do it today, but alas...I must study.  I know you will be waiting at the edge of your seat.  Until then, my faithful readers.

Good night and good luck.

"Thanks for nothing, you dimwits."

Evening address.

Good evening, my fellow Americans.

As I sit here on the couch and enjoy my dinner of cheese sticks, chocolate covered pretzels, and Trumer Pils, I ponder the future of our great nation.  I came across this clip from the Ellen Show, in which my new favorite child named Macey expresses joy and wonderment at meeting President Obama and George W. Bush.  (You must watch this video.)  How, I wonder, will Macey feel about meeting a President Trump?  How will President Trump feel about meeting her?  Will he inspire her to become President Macey?  Or will he recommend she become a supermodel, because those are the only women worth having around?   While perhaps it is not a primary part of the president’s job, I would argue that meeting with and inspiring children is a crucial aspect of the American presidency.  How can we expect our democracy to survive if the president does not encourage and respect the potential of children (and vice versa)?  As Donald Trump’s candidacy now seems inevitable, we need to THINK OF THE CHILDREN. 

I am about to embark upon a letter writing campaign to as many Republican party officials as possible, urging them not to endorse Donald Trump for president.  You are welcome to join the effort.  Our democracy depends on the active participation of its citizens.  This election is scaring the shit out of me, so I am planning to do as much as is in my power to prevent a Donald Trump presidency.  I have already signed up to volunteer for Hillary’s campaign.  (Forgive me, father.)

My fellow Americans, we must think of the children.  Our democracy depends on it.  God bless Hillary Clinton, and God bless America.

PS.

See ya, asshole.