Lent prep.

It’s definitely a big fat Tuesday.  At 11:00 this morning, I was shocked to see that it was indeed 11:00, as my subconscious had led me to believe I had already eaten lunch and we were well into the afternoon.  And then I remembered it’s Tuesday.  And not just any Tuesday.  Tuesday of a five-day work week.  Life is hard.

Lent begins tomorrow.  I am giving up Facebook because it’s annoying and Twitter because it turns me into a rage-against-mostly-Paul-Ryan-but-also-others-machine.  Don’t worry, I will continue to blob, but I won’t be posting to Facebook.  Allow me, then, to shamelessly beg you to subscribe to my blog.  If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you will see a box where you can enter your email.  I’m pretty sure it won’t spam you.  Blogger is a Google operation, so if you have problems, take them up with Will.

As our President would say, a blessed Lent to all the haters and losers.

A Christmas tradition.

Watching the Kennedy Center Honors is a cherished Christmas tradition in my family.  Is this normal?  We all gather ‘round the TV and discuss how old and decrepit the honorees are looking these days, while we enjoy the retrospectives on their lives and careers. 

Peter asks, "Which member of the Eagles looks most like a skeleton?"

Those of you who do not dedicate a Christmas evening to sending senior citizens off into the American pantheon are truly missing out.  Every year, the Kennedy Center chooses a handful of actors/musicians/directors/entertainers to honor with a lifetime achievement award.  They put on a big glitzy show and bring in other celebrities to pay homage to the honorees.  It’s kind of similar to the “In Memoriam” segment of the Oscars, but the people are still alive.  The President and First Lady sit up in the box with all the honorees.  During any musical number, the camera pans up to the presidential box and we get to see everyone really feeling the music (see 1:00 and 2:32 marks). 

While I enjoy learning about the honorees’ lives and careers, I particularly love how awkward some of these tributes are.  The most bizarre in recent memory was Martin Short’s tribute to Tom Hanks in 2014.  At the end, Martin breaks out into an elaborate “Yankee Doodle Dandy” song and dance number (no, you are not forgetting Tom Hank’s hit role in Yankee Doodle Dandy.  Yes, it was an odd choice for a Tom Hanks tribute).  If you can’t stomach the whole thing, at least skip to the 16:10 mark—even Tom is like, wtf is happening.  Don’t miss 17:30 for a tap dancing child prodigy and Tom Hanks again being like, wtf.  Now envision in the same show, a sitar tribute to Sting and frequent camera pans to him clapping like a poorly programmed animatronic (9:40).  Like I said, you’re missing out if this is not part of your holiday tradition. 

This year's show could not escape a certain bittersweet atmosphere.  It was, of course, the last time a normal human president will preside over the event for quite some time, perhaps forever.  Attending the Kennedy Center Honors is just one of the many ceremonial duties I cannot quite envision for our president-elect.  (Reading books to schoolchildren, throwing out the first pitch, and giving State of the Union are others.)  Can we expect him to sit through an entire evening honoring other people?  Will his vanity allow it?  Our child-in-chief might need to bring his iPad.  Imagine the tweets coming from the president’s box. 

My show THE APPRENTICE got higher ratings than anything <insert actual honoree> has ever done!  Where is my award?  Very unfair!

I have to spend the evening with Hollywood elite—would rather focus on YOU, the American people!

But let's be real.  I think we all can predict what's in store for the 2017 Kennedy Center Honors.

Melania would rather be in her tower.

With a special tribute from surprise guest, Vlad!

*I know I promised not to name or depict our president-elect for the rest of 2016.  I'm sorry.  I couldn't help myself.  But...are you not entertained??

Vlad can't HEAR you!

I have become a monster.

Y’all.  I know this blob is very late.  I’m just…exhausted.  I had thought I’d finish a post I started a while ago exploring the “Christians” for Trump phenomenon, but I could not summon the emotional energy.  So instead of getting all worked up during my free weekend, I spent the time knitting, napping, doing laundry, watching West Wing, and eating Ben & Jerry’s.  It’s been very nice.  Perhaps I will finish my other post this week. 

I would, however, like to issue a statement proclaiming that I am aware I have become a social media election monster.  I can’t help it.  This election has opened my eyes.  It has shaken some fundamental assumptions I had made about my world.  It has me absolutely crazed.  Believe it or not, I tuned out of Facebook last election season because a) I didn’t particularly care about the outcome and b) I didn’t want to subject myself to preachy windbags.  But now, I am the preachy windbag.  I know that.  And I don’t care.  

This is my Facebook profile pic.

This election has also introduced me to the joys of Twitter.  I now semi-regularly tweet at Paul Ryan and Chris Christie, in attempts to shame them.

Three days later, he told House Republicans he will no longer defend Trump...coincidence???

@zesty_cruz liked this tweet--not sure if he caught my sarcasm.

Like I said, I've become a monster.

It's not all trolling, though.  

She then owned the first debate...coincidence?????

Perhaps after the election, my blob and I may return to a less crazed state.  (Largely depends on the outcome.)  In the meantime, I will offer a Trump-like apology to those who find this all a bit hard to stomach: I'm sorry you feel that way, but the other side is a lot worse.