America. Great. Again.

I watched the events of Wednesday’s attack on the Capitol unfold in real time.  I had tuned in to listen to the proceedings in Congress, disgusted as senators and representatives voted to object to the results of our free and fair election.  (Voted to disenfranchise EVERYONE, by the way—not just those of us who voted for Joe Biden.)  I was horrified as I watched the rioters breach the building, but I felt (what I now know to be) a false sense of safety for people inside.  The news correspondent I watched calmly reported as she was shepherded with lawmakers to the undisclosed safe location.  Now, as I watch the horrific videos of the mob menacing and beating police officers, smashing glass, chanting “Hang Mike Pence”, I realize just how close incredible danger came to the people working inside the Capitol Building.  It was a lynch mob deprived of its intended victims.  As I try to internalize the reality that the President of the United States set this violent mob on its march to the Capitol and then refused to provide emergency protection when things got out of control, I am horrified to realize just how dangerous this moment is for our country and all of us.  

There is no equivalence between this mob and the Black Lives Matter protests and riots of the summer, as some on the right have suggested.  The BLM protests were borne of the grief and frustration and helplessness that resulted from watching another innocent black man get murdered by police.  Did those protests at times turn violent and destructive?  Yes.  But they were not egged on by the leaders of “the left”.  Joe Biden did not condone the violence.  

This mob is a class unto itself in American history.  At the behest of the president and loser of the 2020 election, this mob intended to disrupt the proceedings of government at the precise moment it was to certify Joe Biden as president-elect of the United States.  They came prepared with guns, bombs, and zip-ties.  They built a gallows and hung a noose.  They killed a police officer and drove another to suicide.  The twin goals of this mob and its enablers: sedition and terror.

And yet, they practically waltzed into the Capitol.  As many have already commented and as all but the most deluded know, had such a mob been planned and formed by black and brown men, that day would have had a very different outcome.  Riot police would have been prepared and deployed as they were during the BLM protests over the summer.  Countless members of the mob undoubtedly would have been shot.  But the benefit of the doubt is always and only afforded to white men.  We watched the most rotten advantage of white privilege on full display: the permission to invade and destroy.   

It seems almost a poetic summation of all Trump hypocrisy.  Was this the “law and order” they cite?  Do patriots (as Ivanka called them) show love of country by smearing feces in the halls of Congress?  Love is patient, love is kind, it is never rude.  Can we honor “blue lives” and the stars and stripes as they did, by beating police officers with the American flag?  Or is the real way to thank a cop to bludgeon him to death with a fire extinguisher? We watched the literal manifestation of the ways white resentment has hollowed out our ideals and rendered words meaningless.

The mob is just one piece of the existential danger America faces at this moment.  Another, perhaps more enraging component is the mob’s enablers: all those who spread lies about the security of the election, who raised hopes it could be overturned, those who have actively done Donald Trump’s bidding for the last five years and those who passively ignored the warnings of his unfitness, all who carelessly sacrifice norms and traditions of American democracy in pursuit of power.  The Republican Party is irredeemable by its support of President Trump and its complicity in the subversion of American democracy.

How do they not understand the glaringly obvious: that Donald Trump is only loyal to himself?  He will feed any of his followers to the wolves as soon as it benefits him to do so.  Mike Pence—the most loyal servant—literally faced a lynch mob sent by his boss because he refused to abuse his ceremonial role of certifying the results of the election.  Gallows built, noose hung, crowd chanting “hang Mike Pence”.  The crowd egged on by the president, told “we love you” by the president.  And still Mike Pence won’t say the president is unfit to hold the office.  And still Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley and countless others voted to object to the results of a free and fair election.  As Clare Malone (one of my favorite political observers) often says, partisanship is a hell of a drug.  

There is a straight line from the “Unite the Right” march of neo-Nazis in Charlottesville to this mob’s attack on the Capitol, and there is no guarantee the line ends here.  I fear the likelihood of its escalation.  That likelihood is why Trump must be removed from power immediately and all his enablers held to account.  His patterns are known and reliable—every norm he breaks is a crack he eventually tears wide open.  This latest broken norm is the most significant: America’s tradition of the peaceful transfer of power is over.  We are nearing collapse.  If history is any guide, these events can get much uglier.  We must act now if we do not want political violence to become our new normal.

The number one priority of Joe Biden’s presidency must be to shore up democracy. He must boldly and swiftly face the emergency of this moment.  Thankfully he will have the power.  He must use it.

A few ideas how:

• Combat the trend of minority rule by abolishing the electoral college and directly electing the president
• Reform nepotism laws
• Require all candidates to disclose tax returns
• Reform the presidential pardon power
• Grant DC and Puerto Rico statehood
• Statehood would provide insulation from the whims of a vindictive president—the ability to call in its own National Guard, etc.  Events of January 6 and (reaching further back) the aftermath of Hurricane Maria show us that the power to protect Washington and Puerto Rico must not be in the hands of the president.
• Prosecute all those responsible for the attack on the Capitol to the fullest extent of the law.

There can be no unity with traitors.  There can be no forgiveness when there is no sorrow.  We must understand the immediate danger of this moment and hold to account all those responsible for how we got here.  

The President will travel tomorrow to Alamo, Texas to tout the “success” of his border wall.  Do not mistake the significance of the name of that town.  He is emboldened and he will further agitate his dangerous followers.  

Hitler’s first attempt to overthrow the German government—the “Beer Hall Putsch”—was in 1924.  The Nazis failed that time, but they were never stamped out and successfully completed their “revolution” nearly a decade later.  The Holocaust swiftly followed.  It can happen here.  We are watching it happen here.  We must stamp out this evil before it is too late.

PAY ATTENTION.

(Not gonna be my most clever or eloquent, but feels urgent to post something. I woke up like this.)

Pay attention today to what happens in the Senate today.  I believe the actions taken today—the decision whether to allow witnesses in this impeachment trial—has the potential to decide the fate of this Republic.  (I really do hate sounding so dramatic but I don’t know how else to put it.)  I’m sick of the “history will judge this GOP harshly” cluck-clucking.  History is now.  We have to judge them harshly NOW.  We are running out of chances to preserve the republic.

If the Senate will not call witnesses, if the Senate will not conduct a fair impeachment trial, it waives—it denudes itself of—its most critical oversight power: the check on a lawless president.  When Congress has no power—the people have no power.  You and I have no power.  Congress is our voice.  If Congress cannot perform its checks on the executive branch...we no longer have a president as the Constitution defines it.  We have a man above law.  I wouldn’t expect Donald Trump to know Louis XIV’s “l’etat c’est moi”, but he understands and craves the meaning of that sentiment.

A sham trial “exonerating” the president will only embolden him to continue usurping power.  (How is this not crystal clear—I want to bang my head against the wall.)  

Possible implication: Imagine the President loses the electoral college in 2020, but he and his lackeys cry voter fraud.  He refuses the results and will not give up the White House.  Can we rely on Congress to enforce the results of the election?  Would they remove him?  Could they?  It profoundly saddens me that I don’t have that faith.  

[“Claire, you’re crazy, that’s not gonna happen.” Before the 2016 election, he said: “I’ll accept the results—if I win.”  He tells us who he is all the time.  We have to believe him.  If he was willing to challenge election results WITHOUT the power of incumbency, do we really think he wouldn’t do it with his fat ass comfortably on the White House toilet?  Particularly if leaving office surrenders his protection from indictment?]

I don’t understand GOP senators—isn’t this one of those great opportunities of history to do what’s right?  Why is it so hard? I will never understand the individual cowardice.  Why—WHY—would you rather go down in history as a servile imp to team cruel-ignorant-despot-wannabe-and-gobbly-turtle-man than as a LEGITIMATE AMERICAN HERO??

I can understand the collective cowardice however.  I always think back to that GOP post-mortem report after losing to Obama a second time.  They understood that demographics were scheduled to doom the Republican Party as it currently operated, but rather than adapt itself to our norms and institutions, they decided to keep power by burning the whole thing down.

I remember a conversation I had with someone who couldn’t stomach Hillary, who knows deep down that Trump is trash, but is too stubborn to give any ground.  I listed how I saw Trump as a real threat to the Constitution—our very system of government.  He scoffed at me.  “The Republic will survive,” he said.  “Why risk it?” I answered.  

Evil knows it will lose to good in a fair fight, so it works to gain any edge it can through deceit and trickery BEFORE the fight begins in earnest.  It stacks its deck by taking advantage of good’s faith that everything will be alright, of good’s complacency, of good’s fear that maybe it’s too late.  

We must care.  We must pay attention.

This has been your occasionally scheduled freak-out over the decline of our democracy.  Have a nice rest of your day.

Due Process: A Treatise on Entitled Men

There is so much to say about the Kavanaugh confirmation process, and much of it has already been said elsewhere.  (A great example of “If you’re not mad, you’re not paying attention.”)  But something that stuck out to me was the image of a grown, white man ranting his “righteous” anger in front of the United States Senate about the end of due process in America.  Give me a fucking break.

The left-wing rag Merriam-Webster defines due process as:

1

: a course of formal proceedings (such as legal proceedings) carried out regularly and in accordance with established rules and principles

— called also procedural due process

2

: a judicial requirement that enacted laws may not contain provisions that result in the unfair, arbitrary, or unreasonable treatment of an individual

— called also substantive due process

But there seems to be some confusion about what due process is, particularly amongst white men.  They seem to believe due process is their right, and the right of their fellow white men, to get away with anything, their right to succeed in spite of any misstep, any exposed character flaw, any crime.  Of course he deserves this promotion—it’s simply due process.  Amazing how differently due process works for white men than it does for everyone else.  It’s leeway that simply does not exist for others.  

Where is due process for victims of sexual assault?  They can’t (and never have been able to) trust the course of formal proceedings to result in justice.  I don’t see Brett Kavanaugh crying about that.  I don’t see Brett Kavanaugh doing anything about that.  And one might argue that, as a federal judge, he is one of the few who actually can do something about that.

Where is due process for the thousands who are incarcerated because they can’t afford bail?  Where is due process for the unarmed African American men shot and killed by police officers?  Where is due process for their families? Yes, due process is failing many people in America.  But it is not failing white men.  So forgive me when I vomit at the sight of an overgrown prep-school jackass-turned-federal-judge crying about the end of due process in America.  

Serving on the Supreme Court is a privilege, not a right.  Brett Kavanaugh missing out on his dream job isn’t due process failing him—it’s an occurrence many ordinary Americans, disproportionately women, have had to swallow with grace.  “Your resume is very impressive, but this job may not be quite right for you.”  Brett Kavanaugh missing out on his dream job because he tried to rape a girl in high school isn’t due process failing him—it’s his past coming back to bite him.  The Supreme Court confirmation process hasn’t ruined Brett Kavanaugh’s life.  Brett Kavanaugh ruined Brett Kavanaugh’s life.

I believe Brett Kavanaugh tried to rape Christine Blasey Ford.  Regardless of that, I believe Brett Kavanaugh’s behavior yesterday disqualifies him serving on the Supreme Court.  He did away with any pretense that he is not a complete partisan.  He showed he has no composure under stress.  I seriously doubt his ability to remove his own prejudice in ruling on any case.  Rather, I strongly suspect his contempt for “the left” would steer him toward vindictiveness.  There is enough vindictiveness in politics.  Sexual abusers are well represented.  Surely we can do better than Brett Kavanaugh.

Give me your tired, your poor, and I'll take those babies away: A Treatise on the Border Situation.

If we cannot recognize both the cruelty of separating children from their parents at our border and who bears responsibility for this cruelty, I'm not sure we can claw our way back up this slippery slope.  Again I ask my friends and family who voted for Donald Trump: what are the limits of your tolerance for his actions?  Where do you draw the line?  If the tearing of children from their parents does not stir rage in you, what will?  That is not a rhetorical question.  How bad does it need to get?  Because that is what our president is testing.  The American president and his disciples ask—no, they condescendingly expect your partisan fervor to override your natural empathy for that instinctual panic of a child who cannot find her mother.  But the team conveniently provides an out for those of you (presumably good Christians) who hate what is happening to the poor children: they assure you they too, as parents and Christians, hate this abomination, but there is simply nothing they can do to stop it.  The blame falls squarely on their political enemies.  Republicans only control the presidency and both houses of Congress.  The buck stops somewhere else. 

If our president is such an expert negotiator (who, let's not forget, has all the power on his side), why does he need to use real-life, vulnerable children as pawns? This is the genius of Donald Trump, you say.  He’s effectively forcing a conversation.  Many methods are effective, even sanctioned by law.  But that does not make them all moral.  The ends do not justify the means.  This is not some brilliant move of brinksmanship to force Democrats to the table on illegal immigration.  This is only cruel.  Any fool can orchestrate inhumanity in an attempt to get his way.  The strategy is not only despicable, but shortsighted.  Who else has used this strategy?  How did that turn out?

We can even look at this “policy” specifically.  Who else in history has forcibly separated children from their parents?  Nazis come to mind.  Antebellum slave traders come to mind.  I’m no policy maker, but I’d think we could find better role models.  Though I guess we shouldn't be surprised.  Our president has expressed sympathy for Nazi demonstrators before our very eyes. Our attorney general, like his father and grandfather before him, is named after the president of the Confederacy and the man who oversaw the first attack on the Union. Still, emulating those who increase their power by degrading fellow humans seems at odds that old American fundamental “we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal”.  But maybe the founders really did just mean men, what with "original intent" and all.  Tough luck, women and children.*

Perhaps in the search for biblical justification, Sarah Huckabee Sanders alerted the president to the story of the judgment of Solomon, but he quickly got bored, heard the words "split the baby in half" and thought, "great idea."  Spoiler alert, Don: Solomon neither cuts the baby in two nor blames his murder of the child on the dispute of the mothers.  But in that movie, Republicans of Congress win best supporting actor in the role of the mother who is happy the baby dies.

*THANKS IVANKA

Good night, sweet prince.

The Blob has been on hiatus, but I thought I’d check in to let you know that I planned this vacation sometime last fall and it has nothing to do with the sexual harassment claims against me.1  Unfortunately, the same may not be true for Mr. Bill O’Reilly, whose vacation became permanent today.

The Blob sends its heartfelt regrets.

What a world we live in—a world where a powerful man at the top of his game, making millions of dollars for himself and his company, can get fired because he’s suddenly not making as many millions for his company and because humanity is disgusted by allegations of him sexually harassing female coworkers.  How sad. 

Bill laments this world in his latest book, Old School.  He never would have lost his job back in the “old school” work environment.  As the book description says on his website, “It’s a values thing.  The anti-Old School forces believe the traditional way of looking at life is oppressive.”2  Bill might refer to agents of the anti-Old School forces as “pinheads” or “snowflakes”.  He wasn’t creating an oppressive work environment for all those women—it’s just tradition for a man in power to comment on a female coworker’s cleavage, or to masturbate while on the phone with her, or to threaten her career unless she visits his hotel room.  What woman doesn’t want that sort of attention from her saggy old boss?  Where’s the respect? 

Not that those allegations are true, of course.  Women are always looking to make a quick buck off sexual harassment claims, aren’t we?  It’s just such a fun and easy way to put our careers and reputations on the line, and maybe get a million dollars. 

My heart goes out to Bill.  He’s been through so much.  To have the President of the United States vouch for your character, and you still lose your job—what a blow.  I’m sure the left-wing media has something to do with this.

Keep your head up, Bill.  The rest is silence…for you…we hope.

---

¹ This is a joke.

² Other gems from the book description: 

"Do you look for something to get outraged about, every single day, so you can fire off a tweet defending your exquisitely precious sensibilities? Then you're a Snowflake."  ...Or the president.

"This book will explain the looming confrontation so even the ladies on The View can understand it."  And why don't women love this guy?

A horrible, monstrous beast.

I saw Beauty and the Beast in the theater last night and was inspired to rewrite Gaston's song.  If there is any way we can get SNL to perform this, I think we should because it would be a big hit.  Please enjoy and feel free to sing along.

The Don (in bathrobe):

Who do they think they are?

The media’s tangled with the wrong man!

No one makes fun of the Don!

Le Spicy Fou:

Darn right.

The Don:

Dismissed!  Rejected!

Big-ly humiliated!

Why, it’s more than I can bear.

Le Spicy Fou (offers remote control):

Fox News?

The Don:

What for?  Nothing helps.

Everyone hates me.

Le Spicy Fou:

Who, you?  Never!

Don, you’ve got to pull yourself together.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, oh Don,

Looking so down in the dumps.

Every guy here’d love to be you, oh Don,

Even those CNN chumps.

No one in the world’s as admired as you!

You’re everyone’s favorite guy!

Everyone’s awed and inspired by you

And it’s not very hard to see whyyyyyyyyy!

Noooooooooooo oneeeeeeee lies like the Don,

Thinks he’s spied on like Don,

Spreads conspiracy theories as blithely as Don!

How he bullies and growls he’ll get even,

And he will, sure as I’m Spicy Sean.

You can ask any Jeff, Reince, or Stephen,

And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!

Chorus:

No one’s rich as the Don!

Likes to bitch like the Don!

Tramples on laws and norms in the ditch like the Don!

The Don (swings around lamppost):

Yes, my tax returns are so incriminating!

Chorus:

My, what a guy, he’s our Don!

Give five “Heil Dons!” Give twelve “hip-hips!”

Le Spicy Fou (shakes podium menacingly):

The Don is the best and the rest of you are shit!

Chorus:

Noooooooo oneeeeeeeee’s mad as the Don,

Uses “Sad!” like the Don,

Wants to sleep with his daughter as bad as the Don!

For there’s no one so gross and so lonely.

He’s a narcissist pig, it’s no lie.

It’s no wonder Mel stayed in the city,

As she patiently waits for her husband to die!

No one tweets like the Don,

No one cheats like the Don,

Who grabs pussies with hands so petite as the Don’s!

The Don:

I’m especially good at retaliating! Sad!

Chorus:

Ten points for our Don!

The Don:

When I was a lad, my dad showed me no love.

My complexes blossomed and grew.

So now that I’m old, I’ve no shame to speak of,

And I’ll force all my wrath upon you!!!!!!

Chorus:

Noooooooo oneeeeeee’s orange as Don,

An abhorrence as Don,

Who will ban anything slightly foreign as Don.

The Don:

I use gold leaf in all of my decorating!

Le Spicy Fou:

Say it again!

Who’s a man among men?

Did we make you forget

You’re the worst president?

Who’s a super success?

Screw the Muslims!  The press!

Ask his minions and goons who is boss!

There’s just one guy in charge

And his name is writ large!!!!

And it’s V-L-A-D....

V-L-A-D-E….

V-L-A-D-I……..

Chorus:

The DON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drastic times.

Listen, I really am trying not to interpret everything as signs of looming World War III/American implosion via class warfare/anarchy/eventual nuclear holocaust.  But suddenly preppers seem a lot less crazy.  (Don’t worry, I’m not building a bunker but our storage room may serve, so that is where we keep our bottled water and canned tuna.)

I’m not the only one freaking out:

Catchy new tagline.

I’m just very disturbed at how faithfully Orange Julius is following the authoritarian playbook.  The scapegoating of particular religious, ethnic, and non-heterosexual people, for instance, was an old standby for another thin-skinned dude who liked to yell and had bad hair.  (Ok, you caught me.  I’m not above a Hitler-Trump comparison.)  NEWS ALERT: Muslims aren’t killing us by the thousands (guns are), Mexicans aren’t stealing our jobs (automation is), and transsexuals aren’t grabbing your daughter’s pussy in the women’s room (she should watch out for our President though).  Picking on minority groups and the vulnerable may make some (miserable) people feel better, but it does not solve problems.  It actually creates them.  Stop me if I sound crazy.  Oh right, you can’t.

Here’s a problem created by the dogwhistling and hateful rhetoric that spewed from the Trump campaign, and now spews from the White House:

 

In case your preferred news source didn't cover this, vandals desecrated 100 graves at a historic Jewish cemetery in St. Louis this week.

As it turns out, bad people are empowered to do bad things when we do not actively embrace tolerance and respect, when we elect people who do not actively embrace tolerance and respect.

One of the most moving places I have ever been is the Old Jewish Cemetery in Prague.  For over 300 years, it was the only place the city’s Jewish people were allowed to bury their dead.  The graves are stacked layers upon layers, making “ground level” something like thirty feet above the current street. Up to 100,000 people may be buried there.  Seeing these graves all crammed together sparked a major understanding in my brain when I visited with my family a few years ago.  The Nazis didn’t cook up anti-Semitism in the 1930s—it was hundreds and hundreds of years in the making.  Passive cruelty and episodic violence were the norms.  Europe was so primed with anti-Semitism that it required just one particularly evil man to twist prejudice into holocaust.

Photos can't really capture this place. 

I’m not saying Donald Trump is plotting to murder all the groups he recklessly scapegoats.  But I am saying he is too cozy with authoritarian methods of exploiting fear and prejudice.  People like David Duke, Milo Yiannopoulos, Richard Spencer, and cowardly grave vandals should not feel encouraged by the President of the United States.  But they do.

I’m still hopeful our nation's history has primed us to love and defend freedom.  But I fear this slippery slope we’re on.  I love you, America, but I don’t like you a whole lot right now.  We need to open our eyes to reality.  Democracy dies in darkness.

Rice, fight, never die.

Last night, as I browsed Breitbart (as one does to court heart disease/lose IQ points/take years off one’s life), I was surprised to see a familiar name:

Nice try, Breitbart, but this photo is not from the Rice group hug, as that took place at night.

Rice University, my dear alma mater.  If Breitbart is mocking you, you know you’re doing something right.  Oh how I love thee.

I think the last time the internet mentioned us was back in 2011, during the Worst NCAA Basketball Championship Game In History.  UConn played Butler at Reliant Stadium in Houston, and both teams were absolutely miserable.  The game was so boring that the cameras kept panning over to show the section of Rice students holding signs that said “We’re just happy to be here”.  Apparently we were trending on Twitter during the game as many people were like, “what is Rice #worstgameever”.

So here we are, back in the internet spotlight—this time featured on the official news outlet of the Trump White House no less!

The article laments a group hug conducted by Rice students as “just another in a series of campus coddling events that have occurred at universities across the United States in response to Trump’s victory.”  Please watch the video in the link and judge for yourself if this was a “campus coddling event”.  In true Rice fashion, this is the most awkward group hug imaginable.  It’s not even a hug.  I’m actually disappointed—I was hoping for a big hugging mob (not MOB) (Rice joke) around Willy’s statue.  Instead, they just stand there linking arms and eventually start singing the Rice song because it must have been too awkward to stand there in silence.  Is this really news, Breitbart?  Can’t you guys, like, I don’t know, get a life?  Leave my Owls alone?

Because my blood pressure was not high enough, I braved a trip to the comment section.  Oh the rewards.

Interesting you'd mention "moral compass", Wagoner.

Pretty sure they are still getting drunk and laid, but they are also managing to learn EMPATHY--a lesson you may have missed...along with grammar.  Go back to ignoring minorities.

Hoooooo hoooo hoooo "simpering nancies"!!!  "Bottom feeders of society"!!!!  Bless you, ArsenicSundae.  At the risk of sounding too tri-coastal elite (Gulf Coast, what up), I can't wait to tell all my Rice doctor friends what bottom feeders they are.

Seriously, you don't want to know what my Rice friends are doing with their pathetic lives.  But I won't be so gauche as to list them out.

But here it gets interesting:

Killin' it, Cath.  THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

I'm not sure we could find an exchange that better sums up what is wrong about Breitbart.  Denial of an account that does not align with the propaganda, preferencing "my reading of what happened" over "what actually happened", patronizing an entire generation and denying its value, only accepting their definition of "Conservative".

Cathy’s story is absolutely plausible.  A "can't we just hug this election out" group hug feels a lot more Rice than "omg what are we gonna do Trump is president now" group hug.  Rice is still in Texas, y'all.  There are Republicans there.  But as Cathy so aptly points out, the truth does not fit the Breitbart narrative.  Empathy on college campuses does not fit the narrative.  

---

I'd ignore Breitbart were it not for the fact its chairman, Steve Bannon, will be president-elect Trump's chief strategist.  Breitbart and the "alt-right" are no longer "fringe"—Trump has given them the legitimacy of a coveted White House role.  If Bannon has zero moral qualms about promoting ignorance, insinuating anti-Semitism, or giving voice to white nationalists, what will he do when he has the ear of the president?

I'll leave you with one last bit from the comment section:  

Jacktee, at least we can agree on that.

Speechwriter application, round 2.

Good evening.  Hello.  It’s me, Melania.  Did you forget me?  It’s been months since my husband, Donald Trump, has allowed me to speak, in public or in private, but I do so tonight at his behest.  He continues to enjoy making a fool of me, so the topic he has chosen for me to discuss tonight is online bullying.

I worry about my son, Barron von Trump.  He looks too much like his father.  He doesn’t take my hair advice.  If your parents were Donald and Melania Trump, whose hair advice would you take?  Melania’s, right?  My hair is amazing and Donald’s is very bad.  It’s very frustrating.  I’m sorry….I didn’t mean to speak my mind.  I am to be seen, not heard.  Don't forget, Melania...seen, not heard.

I also worry about Barron because most people don’t know what he actually looks like.  They assume he looks like this:

The only thing remotely accurate is that delightful little hand.  Just like his father's.  But I wish they would assume he is beautiful like his mother.  Instead, he is a classic target for those cowardly, faceless, nameless, internet low-lives.  Why are they afraid to use their names and pictures?  Is it because they are ugly?  Bullies should emulate my husband, Donald Trump.  He is proud to use his real name and picture while bullying others online.  So please, bullies, I want you to feel empowered to be yourselves.  It will make it easier for my husband, Donald Trump, to find you and put you in jail when he is our king.

I want to thank you all for supporting my husband, Donald Trump.  He tells me that I will be queen whether he wins the election or not.  I am so humbled.  God bless you, God bless Donald Trump, and God bless America.