Voting to-do list.

Alright, kids.  We have a critical election on Tuesday.  Here are two things we can do:

1. Vote.
2. Have The Talk with your parents.

The second item applies however you think your parents will be voting.  If you are on the same page, great.  Encourage them and thank them.  But if you disagree, talk to them.  I know it sucks and is way easier not to.  Your siblings may get angry with you and wish you’d keep your mouth shut (may I recommend a time other than dinner?).  But it’s important.  You may not change their minds or sway their vote, but they need to hear your voice.  Tell them you are worried.  Give them reasons why.  Show them evidence.  Don’t resort to name-calling.  Tell them you love them instead.  Donald Trump has split up enough families.  

Maybe they are also troubled by the current climate, but they think we are too far down the path of corruption to make any difference.  They’ve thrown in the towel.  Tell them how strange it is to hear them say such things, when you’ve been so accustomed to them telling you to never give up.  Ask them where we would be if that had been the attitude of their parents in the 1940s.  Tell them you will not give up without a fight, because that is how they raised you and how their parents raised them.  

Tell them what you see of your generation.  I see optimism, inventiveness, and determination.  We have big ideas and big hearts.  We crave the freedom and opportunity that is our inheritance from this great nation—the nation you will hand over to us, even if we have to claw it from your cold, dead fingers.  We will make it new again.  Because you taught us to participate.  We weren’t out there buying those participation trophies for ourselves.  You gave them to us.  You enrolled us in softball and dance and scouts and summer camp.  You taught us to participate because you knew its value.  We learned participation is not just valuable—it is essential.  Healthy society cannot function without it.  Democracy cannot function without it.  

Happy voting, friends.  

Only 2 years ago?  What a wild ride.

Due Process: A Treatise on Entitled Men

There is so much to say about the Kavanaugh confirmation process, and much of it has already been said elsewhere.  (A great example of “If you’re not mad, you’re not paying attention.”)  But something that stuck out to me was the image of a grown, white man ranting his “righteous” anger in front of the United States Senate about the end of due process in America.  Give me a fucking break.

The left-wing rag Merriam-Webster defines due process as:

1

: a course of formal proceedings (such as legal proceedings) carried out regularly and in accordance with established rules and principles

— called also procedural due process

2

: a judicial requirement that enacted laws may not contain provisions that result in the unfair, arbitrary, or unreasonable treatment of an individual

— called also substantive due process

But there seems to be some confusion about what due process is, particularly amongst white men.  They seem to believe due process is their right, and the right of their fellow white men, to get away with anything, their right to succeed in spite of any misstep, any exposed character flaw, any crime.  Of course he deserves this promotion—it’s simply due process.  Amazing how differently due process works for white men than it does for everyone else.  It’s leeway that simply does not exist for others.  

Where is due process for victims of sexual assault?  They can’t (and never have been able to) trust the course of formal proceedings to result in justice.  I don’t see Brett Kavanaugh crying about that.  I don’t see Brett Kavanaugh doing anything about that.  And one might argue that, as a federal judge, he is one of the few who actually can do something about that.

Where is due process for the thousands who are incarcerated because they can’t afford bail?  Where is due process for the unarmed African American men shot and killed by police officers?  Where is due process for their families? Yes, due process is failing many people in America.  But it is not failing white men.  So forgive me when I vomit at the sight of an overgrown prep-school jackass-turned-federal-judge crying about the end of due process in America.  

Serving on the Supreme Court is a privilege, not a right.  Brett Kavanaugh missing out on his dream job isn’t due process failing him—it’s an occurrence many ordinary Americans, disproportionately women, have had to swallow with grace.  “Your resume is very impressive, but this job may not be quite right for you.”  Brett Kavanaugh missing out on his dream job because he tried to rape a girl in high school isn’t due process failing him—it’s his past coming back to bite him.  The Supreme Court confirmation process hasn’t ruined Brett Kavanaugh’s life.  Brett Kavanaugh ruined Brett Kavanaugh’s life.

I believe Brett Kavanaugh tried to rape Christine Blasey Ford.  Regardless of that, I believe Brett Kavanaugh’s behavior yesterday disqualifies him serving on the Supreme Court.  He did away with any pretense that he is not a complete partisan.  He showed he has no composure under stress.  I seriously doubt his ability to remove his own prejudice in ruling on any case.  Rather, I strongly suspect his contempt for “the left” would steer him toward vindictiveness.  There is enough vindictiveness in politics.  Sexual abusers are well represented.  Surely we can do better than Brett Kavanaugh.

#neverforget: A Treatise on Fear and Freedom

After listening to President Obama’s speech (which I highly recommend), I was inspired to dig up FDR’s Four Freedoms speech.  I’d been meaning to do so for a while—it often pops into my head against the constant, reckless fear-mongering by our president and his enablers.  The Four Freedoms speech was FDR’s State of the Union address in January 1941—his message that the Union was preparing for the fight of her life, an existential battle for how humans deserve to live in this world: with freedom of speech, freedom to worship, freedom from want, and freedom from fear.  The surprise attack on Pearl Harbor would happen less than a year later.  

It’s scary how relevant his words are now.  An excerpt:

I suppose that every realist knows that the democratic way of life is at this moment being directly assailed in every part of the world–assailed either by arms, or by secret spreading of poisonous propaganda by those who seek to destroy unity and promote discord in nations that are still at peace.

... 

In times like these it is immature–and incidentally, untrue–for anybody to brag that an unprepared America, single-handed, and with one hand tied behind its back, can hold off the whole world.

No realistic American can expect from a dictator’s peace international generosity, or return of true independence, or world disarmament, or freedom of expression, or freedom of religion–or even good business.

Such a peace would bring no security for us or for our neighbors. “Those, who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

As a nation, we may take pride in the fact that we are softhearted; but we cannot afford to be soft-headed.

We must always be wary of those who with sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal preach the “ism” of appeasement.

We must especially beware of that small group of selfish men who would clip the wings of the American eagle in order to feather their own nests. 

How reassuring to read and imagine hearing those words from an American president.  Don’t know what you got till it’s gone, right?

I bring this up today out of anxiety that we are confusing what we should #neverforget about September 11, 2001.  The attacks of September 11th were an evil and cowardly attack on our freedom.  They were meant to inspire fear.  Death by itself can’t destroy democracy—fear can.  Like democracy, fear is simply an idea.  But they are two ideas that cannot live in the same place.

I remember a particular history lesson at Villa.  Our teacher remarked it wasn’t a given that ordinary Americans would stick to the values of democracy in the wake of the stock market crash and Great Depression.  The conditions for fascism seemed riper in a place like Germany, for instance, but we were not immune.  Look at this photo essay from The Atlantic.  These are images of 1930s New Jersey and New York, not Germany.  (Check out that crowd at Madison Square Garden—yuge!)  High-profile Americans like Charles Lindbergh espoused the “America First” Committee, whose stated goal was to keep America out of the war, an intention that sometimes mixed with fascism of its own.  On this day in 1941, Lindbergh gave a speech detailing the three groups he believed were to blame for pushing us towards war in Europe—the British, American Jews, and the Roosevelt administration.  Regarding the second group, he said:

It is not difficult to understand why Jewish people desire the overthrow of Nazi Germany. The persecution they suffered in Germany would be sufficient to make bitter enemies of any race.

No person with a sense of the dignity of mankind can condone the persecution of the Jewish race in Germany. But no person of honesty and vision can look on their pro-war policy here today without seeing the dangers involved in such a policy both for us and for them. Instead of agitating for war, the Jewish groups in this country should be opposing it in every possible way for they will be among the first to feel its consequences.

Tolerance is a virtue that depends upon peace and strength. History shows that it cannot survive war and devastations. A few far-sighted Jewish people realize this and stand opposed to intervention. But the majority still do not.

Their greatest danger to this country lies in their large ownership and influence in our motion pictures, our press, our radio and our government. 

But be assured: 

I am not attacking either the Jewish or the British people. Both races, I admire.

But I am saying that the leaders of both the British and the Jewish races, for reasons which are as understandable from their viewpoint as they are inadvisable from ours, for reasons which are not American, wish to involve us in the war.

We cannot blame them for looking out for what they believe to be their own interests, but we also must look out for ours. We cannot allow the natural passions and prejudices of other peoples to lead our country to destruction.

Back in that history class, I remember thinking how obvious it seemed that remaining true to the values of our democracy would be the only way to defeat fascism.  And I still don’t think that’s my hindsight bias talking.  Democracy and fascism are fundamentally opposed.  Democracy includes all people—all men are created equal.  Fascism excludes certain people.  Charles Lindbergh doesn’t get to exclude Jewish people from an American democracy, as much as he professes to “admire their race”.  When we compromise on which groups of people get to be included in “freedom”, we defeat democracy.  When we compromise on a fundamental belief, it’s not a fundamental belief anymore.  Democracy depends on the word “all.”

Fear and freedom cannot live in the same place.  I believe this essential truth to my core.  You know it too.  We feel most human when we are most free:

• when we can freely and honestly express what’s happening in our brains and hearts, and when we respect others for doing the same
• when we can praise the spirit of life in whatever way makes sense to us, in whatever way gives us true joy
• when our bodies enjoy health and sustenance and mobility, when we can walk and eat and dance
• when we can do all these things with confidence, when we can do them without shame, without being afraid.

Isn’t that when we feel most alive?

That is the promise of America I grew up believing in and loving.  The promise itself is American exceptionalism—the rest is just noise.  When we abandon the promise, we lose what sets us apart, what makes us great—our freedom.

I’ll presume to close with the end of FDR’s 1941 State of the Union:

This nation has placed its destiny in the hands and heads and hearts of its millions of free men and women; and its faith in freedom under the guidance of God. Freedom means the supremacy of human rights everywhere. Our support goes to those who struggle to gain those rights and keep them. Our strength is our unity of purpose.

To that high concept there can be no end save victory.

Raise a glass to freedommmmm

I think we are in crisis mode.

Let the Blob be the first to inform you that the president’s recent trip to Europe has caused a bit of a stir.  Let’s get to it.

I believe there is and has been real, strategic evil coming out of Russia.  At minimum, their goal is to weaken the West and paint democracy as fraud. They gambled that if they could infiltrate enough of our institutions and corrupt a strategic group of individuals, our own partisan division and political apathy would do the rest to bring us down.  They’ve had impressive success so far.

In the past, bad actors sought to achieve such ideological goals through acts of war.  Think of the invasion of Poland.  Think of Pearl Harbor.  Think of 9/11.  These were not random acts of violence.  The perpetrators were advancing specific goals.  But nations can’t fight wars in that mode anymore.  A military encounter can too easily become mutually assured destruction.  Putin is showing us that our military might isn’t all that relevant because it threatens us as much as it threatens him.  So the modern war is war on information, and it is waged on the internet. 

Trump and his cronies aren’t just stupid—they are in on the plot.  It seems obvious now—Russia has been playing this long game of erosion for years.  Furthermore, by sowing wild conspiracy theories the entire time, they made it less likely for reasonable people to believe what is happening before their eyes.  And how amazingly effective that has been.  I believe the evidence is pretty compelling, but still I feel like a nut for throwing this out there.  (Soylent Green is people!!!!  But seriously has anyone investigated where the funding came from for Soylent, because it feels plausible for that to be part of Vlad’s sick joke.). 

The strategy is classic divide and conquer.  They have exploited our existing divisions, while weaponizing our media and stoking violence.  The Russian connection to the NRA is not a coincidence.  Wouldn’t the easy availability of guns be in their interest if this plot is as dark as it seems?

Speaking of weaponized media, do we think Mark Zuckerberg is a useful idiot or a witting accomplice?  Would the Russians have put all their eggs in the Donald Trump basket?  Mark Zuckerberg was laying groundwork for a political career, visiting all 50 states on a listening tour. We know that Facebook was compromised during the campaign.

Politicians are bought and paid for.  Read Dark Money by Jane Mayer.  We can’t even see where the money comes from.  It goes through elaborate and hidden funnels.  Without transparency, how do we know Russia has not funneled money to Paul Ryan?  Mitch McConnell?  Can their behavior really be explained by partisanship alone? I’m suspicious many high level Republicans are wittingly complicit.  They know how far the money trail goes.  Hence their obstructions and conspicuous lack of curiosity.

From the Washington Post over a year ago:

A month before Donald Trump clinched the Republican nomination, one of his closest allies in Congress—House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy—made a politically explosive assertion in a private conversation on Capitol Hill with his fellow GOP leaders: that Trump could be the beneficiary of payments from Russian president Vladimir Putin

“I think there’s two people Putin pays: Rohrabacker and Trump,” McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016, exchange, which was listened to and verified by the Washington Post.  Rep. Dana Rohrabacker is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.

House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy’s assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

Vladimir Putin is banking on our internal divisions to accomplish most of his dirty work.  The critical question seems to me: can ordinary Americans overcome that division, apathy, and fear?

Realizing this makes me strangely hopeful.  I think we can.  I think it could get very ugly, but this seems like the only way to redeem not just America and our reputation in the world, but democracy itself.

I love this country.  I love what we stand for.  I love being able to publish my snark without worrying about the government coming after me.  Our freedom is precious.  I believe this is the fight of our lives.  And how convenient—we can now fight wars from our couch.  I think we need to.  As a country, we must adapt our defenses, which will require communal effort on a grand scale.

So what do we do now?

Organize.  We need to make people understand the severity of the threat.

Expose the extents of the operation to the public.

Exercise our rights—use ‘em or lose ‘em, folks.

Seek help from our allies.  America has been attacked.

Make clear that having voted for Donald Trump does NOT constitute treason.  Trump voters got caught in a large apparatus designed to fool them.  We need our fellow Americans on our side.

Make offer to any person actively complicit (accepting money, misleading the public, hacking into servers, etc): come clean NOW.  You will regret not doing this.

Make clear that anyone who continues to cover-up and collude will be treated as an enemy of the state.

Direct all effort toward resistance.

Keep faith.

And what do we do after we win?

We must fundamentally reform campaign finance.  The American people must speak louder than money, be it foreign or domestic.

We must break up the mega-conglomerates.  We are experiencing the real threat monopolies pose to democracy.  They put too much power, information, and money in the hands of too few.  Even if their company missions are supposedly altruistic, they are vulnerable to being co-opted by bad actors, putting us all at risk.  It’s time for Facebook, Google, and Amazon to decentralize.

We must educate, educate, educate—invest in the continued learning of history, government, science, ethics, art, and logic.

We must maximize our cyber security.

We should consider implementing a mandatory national service program for young people.  Imagine the dividends if all eighteen-year-olds did a year of service in a state other than their own.  The sheltered kid from the suburbs can learn that the city doesn’t have to be a dangerous place.  The kid from the Bay Area can learn that Texas has more than gun-toting cowboys and oil barons.  They can all benefit from a year to breathe and think before rushing off to college.  The people that host them can learn to appreciate the next generation.  We have such beautiful diversity in this country—it is our greatest asset.  We can pop the bubbles we are currently stuck in by inviting each other to come see us where we live.  If we know each other, we cannot be made enemies of each other.

-

Someone once asked me if I am an optimist or a pessimist.  I think sometimes it can be hard to tell.  I actually struggled to answer because I wasn’t sure.  But I know now that I am an optimist.  To me, being an optimist does not mean always taking the rosy view of things.  It means having hope.  As the contours of the enemy become clearer, I feel less anxiety and more confidence.  It’s easier to win when you know what you’re fighting.

The consent of the governed.

We already know our president is unfamiliar with the concept of consent. “Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything…Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

Fortunately for us, his understanding of the concept is irrelevant to the fact that his government derives its power from the consent of the governed.

Whenever any form of government becomes destructive to the ends of securing the people’s inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish that government.  “Whenever” does not mean only on Election Day.

What aspect of locking thousands of children in cages and camps secures their lives, their liberty, their pursuits of happiness? Many of these children will never see their parents again.  Can’t we see that this abomination jeopardizes our own and our children’s lives, liberty, and pursuits of happiness? To extrapolate from the oft-quoted poem, it doesn’t get better after they come for defenseless children.  We cannot afford this man’s reckless abuse of power to continue any longer.  The president must resign.

His executive order “reversing” the policy of family separation cannot undo the damage done to these children and their families.  If we accept this “reversal”, we cannot undo the damage done to our nation.  As long as Donald Trump remains president, he disgraces the office, and thereby disgraces us.  He governs by our consent.  We cannot consent to this.

If the president does not resign, the Congress must impeach and remove him.  If the gratuitous torture of thousands of children does not constitute a high crime or misdemeanor, what does?  He does not get a do-over for this.  He does not get to try internment camps on children for size.  This is not his Katrina–it is his Waterloo.

Politicians, even a president, have resigned over less egregious abuses of power.  But the call for this president to resign is conspicuously absent.  Why?  This silence is a toxic byproduct of the gradual erosion of norms of political decency.  We are accustomed to our wacky president doing wacky things.  He expects us to grow accustomed to evil as well.  We cannot consent to this.

The marches planned to protest this administration’s handling of immigration must demand the resignations of the president, the attorney general, and the secretary of homeland security.  We cannot trust or expect them to reunite the families they have torn apart or to keep other families together.  They have proven their vindictive incompetence time and again. 

With these protests, we can reinvigorate our democracy.  We together can fix it.  And it is crucial we do so now, a time when democracy is considered “in retreat”. 

In this country, the people hold the power.  We must remind the president and the Congress that they serve at the pleasure of the American people.  And we are not pleased.

Give me your tired, your poor, and I'll take those babies away: A Treatise on the Border Situation.

If we cannot recognize both the cruelty of separating children from their parents at our border and who bears responsibility for this cruelty, I'm not sure we can claw our way back up this slippery slope.  Again I ask my friends and family who voted for Donald Trump: what are the limits of your tolerance for his actions?  Where do you draw the line?  If the tearing of children from their parents does not stir rage in you, what will?  That is not a rhetorical question.  How bad does it need to get?  Because that is what our president is testing.  The American president and his disciples ask—no, they condescendingly expect your partisan fervor to override your natural empathy for that instinctual panic of a child who cannot find her mother.  But the team conveniently provides an out for those of you (presumably good Christians) who hate what is happening to the poor children: they assure you they too, as parents and Christians, hate this abomination, but there is simply nothing they can do to stop it.  The blame falls squarely on their political enemies.  Republicans only control the presidency and both houses of Congress.  The buck stops somewhere else. 

If our president is such an expert negotiator (who, let's not forget, has all the power on his side), why does he need to use real-life, vulnerable children as pawns? This is the genius of Donald Trump, you say.  He’s effectively forcing a conversation.  Many methods are effective, even sanctioned by law.  But that does not make them all moral.  The ends do not justify the means.  This is not some brilliant move of brinksmanship to force Democrats to the table on illegal immigration.  This is only cruel.  Any fool can orchestrate inhumanity in an attempt to get his way.  The strategy is not only despicable, but shortsighted.  Who else has used this strategy?  How did that turn out?

We can even look at this “policy” specifically.  Who else in history has forcibly separated children from their parents?  Nazis come to mind.  Antebellum slave traders come to mind.  I’m no policy maker, but I’d think we could find better role models.  Though I guess we shouldn't be surprised.  Our president has expressed sympathy for Nazi demonstrators before our very eyes. Our attorney general, like his father and grandfather before him, is named after the president of the Confederacy and the man who oversaw the first attack on the Union. Still, emulating those who increase their power by degrading fellow humans seems at odds that old American fundamental “we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal”.  But maybe the founders really did just mean men, what with "original intent" and all.  Tough luck, women and children.*

Perhaps in the search for biblical justification, Sarah Huckabee Sanders alerted the president to the story of the judgment of Solomon, but he quickly got bored, heard the words "split the baby in half" and thought, "great idea."  Spoiler alert, Don: Solomon neither cuts the baby in two nor blames his murder of the child on the dispute of the mothers.  But in that movie, Republicans of Congress win best supporting actor in the role of the mother who is happy the baby dies.

*THANKS IVANKA

Nun in the News: A Treatise on the Human Condition

(Hello from my sabbatical.)

On his May 8^th show, Jimmy Kimmel poked fun at the Met Gala’s theme of  “Fashion and the Catholic Imagination”. Please watch the clip.  He joked about the celebrities’ interpretations of the theme, and compared their outlandish outfits to his understanding of Catholic fashion as demonstrated by a photo of “Sister Mary Frances O’Brien”.  The nun in the photo, however, is actually Sr. Patricia Pompa, the real-life principal at my alma mater, Villa Walsh Academy. The Jimmy Kimmel clip went viral amongst my former classmates and fellow alumnae.  Sr. Pat was on Jimmy Kimmel!  Nothing had spread that fast since the time Sr. Mary DeAngelis got a photo with Bruce Springsteen (“Big Brucey” as she called him).  The Villa girls I know either found the whole thing hilarious or suffered from brief bouts of nun-induced post-traumatic stress.

But other people (only men, that I noticed) lamented the injustice done to Sr. Pat and sought to defend her sacred honor.  In the Wall Street Journal on Monday, Bill McGurn, father of three Villa girls and former speechwriter for George W. Bush, wrote a column introducing “Jimmy Kimmel’s nun” as a loving woman whose “entire life has been about self-sacrifice.”  In describing her service to the school, he paints her with a halo.

Mr. McGurn implies that Jimmy Kimmel only saw the habit when he held up Sr. Pat’s photo, but I wonder if he himself has fallen into the same trap. When we synonymize one’s clothing with one’s level of virtue, we run into a risk the Catholic Church should well know—the risk of assuming complete goodness and overlooking true failings. Behind the habit is a human, not a saint.  She has not “sacrificed” her life, but rather chose this life for herself.  A subtle distinction, but an important one.  She is not a victim.  She is not a damsel in distress.

But Sr. Pat’s fifteen minutes of fame were not yet up.  Later in the week, Mr. McGurn appeared on Fox & Friends to be interviewed by Brian Kilmeade.  I believe Mr. McGurn when he says he does not mean to demonize Jimmy Kimmel, but I think it’s a shame he didn’t foresee Fox News taking such an angle with  “JIMMY KIMMEL USES NUN TO JOKE ABOUT MET GALA” emblazoned at the bottom of the screen.  While the segment mostly was spent reiterating the sentiments in the article, one moment struck me as exceedingly disingenuous.  Shaking his head in disgust, Mr. Kilmeade asks, “in the #MeToo movement, should we really be ridiculing somebody about how they look?”  While not only betraying a complete misunderstanding of #MeToo, Mr. Kilmeade asserts a distaste that reeks of hypocrisy.  We can argue whether Jimmy Kimmel was ridiculing Sr. Pat’s looks or if he was drawing a humorous comparison between the Met Gala and what most people recognize as Catholic fashion (in other words, making a joke, or rather, doing a thing that comedians do).  But if we are going to exhibit disgust at the superficial treatment of women, let’s hold that up as a standard across the board.  Somehow I doubt Mr. Kilmeade has expressed a fraction of that outrage in reaction to egregious behavior toward women by President Trump or by men at his own network.  But then I guess those women weren’t wearing habits.  Maybe they deserved it.

I know and admire Mr. McGurn and his family, and I have no doubt he had good intentions in writing this piece.  But as one of those capable and confident women churned out by Villa Walsh, I feel compelled to point out why I find this treatment problematic.  Was Sr. Pat consulted before she was used as an example of Christian virtue and as a weapon of Fox News?  It seems not.  If I had to guess, I’d imagine the nuns of Villa Walsh got a kick out of the Jimmy Kimmel bit.  After all, they too are human beings with senses of humor.  They even poke fun at themselves sometimes.  All I ask is that we recognize the human nature in all people—no matter their station, no matter their clothing—and hold them to the same standards of decency.

State of the Blob.

My fellow Americans, the state of the Blob is middling to fair.  I know I said I was going to end it, now it’s back, will I end it again…not sure.  I think I’m resuscitating it.  I know, I’m a tease.  (Speaking of resuscitation, did anyone else expect a reference to the Bee Gees while our president got into the particulars of CPR during his State of the Union address?  I sure did.)

I just finished watching the SOTU while drinking wine straight from the bottle.  So there’s a new low.  I had to turn it off as soon as the post-game commentator used the word “Reaganesque”.  Pretty sure the “shining city on a hill” speech didn’t include any “very, very, very, very”s.  To be fair, maybe that dude was using “Reaganesque” to mean “gradually incapacitated”.  Or maybe he thinks “Reaganesque” means “proving one can read”.  In that case, okay, sir, you have a point.  I think we can put to rest the conspiracy theory that Donald Trump does not know how to read.  I am confident if, at the ripe and stable age of 71, the man does not know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, he most likely was unable to memorize the second longest SOTU address in history and therefore must have read it instead.  Bravo.  (It did occur to me they might have rented the Disney World Hall of Presidents animatronic Trump for an evening...did anyone actually see Donald Trump walk away from the podium??  Or did they know we would all turn off the TV in disgust BEFORE a president would typically leave a podium…he could be stuck there…“he” as in “it”…“stuck” as in “bolted to the floor”…this also explains Mike Pence’s periodic gazes of loving admiration…holy moley, it all adds up…cannot think of a single flaw.  New theory: Disney animatronics running the country.  Thank God.)

To close, I will presume to borrow a few Reaganesque words, the last lines of his “shining city on a hill” speech.  If you have time, the whole thing is worth the read.  You can decide for yourself if it bears much relation to the address we heard tonight.

Let us resolve tonight that young Americans will always see those Potomac lights; that they will always find there a city of hope in a country that is free. And let us resolve they will say of our day and our generation that we did keep faith with our God, that we did act "worthy of ourselves;" that we did protect and pass on lovingly that shining city on a hill.

PS, Mr. Putin, tear down this wall!  lol jk love you man. 

To sleep, perchance to dream.

Until recently, I have secretly judged people who have trouble sleeping.  I was like, please, insomnia is not real.  Being a light sleeper is not real.  What will you tell me next, vaccines prevent disease??  (Jokes.)  Friends know that I am very good at falling asleep and staying asleep.  The talent runs in my family on the O’Connor side.  Head back, boom, asleep.  So these last few nights have unsettled me, as I have done a lot of tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling of my childhood bedroom.  Sleep finally comes to me between the hours of 7am and 12pm (which, to be fair, has always been a natural tendency, but that period of sleep normally follows a nice 8-10 hours of REM filled glory.)

So here we are.  I am wide awake.  My right leg hurts and I’m worried I have a blood clot but I’m afraid to google it.  Maybe it’s just a tight IT band.  (Does anyone actually know what an IT band is?  I don’t.)  The pain in my leg is more likely attributed to how I sit while working at my computer.  As it turns out, if I am not forced to enter society and sit in a chair like a civilized adult, I simply do not do it.  Most days, I am a pretzel wearing pajamas, twisted over my mouse and keyboard.  Longtime blog readers may recall a smug Claire mocking her London office safety consultant’s instructions on how to sit properly in a chair.  I may need a refresher course.

It's been six years and I'm still shocked by the graphics of this image.

I really should work on my posture, as one of my greatest fears about getting old is developing the old woman hump.  You know the one.  Maybe I should get one of those machines that makes you hang upside down.  Livestrong.com tells me inversion therapy could benefit my posture and circulation.  But I don’t know if I can trust Lance Armstrong anymore.

Alright, I should stop looking at a screen and attempt to sleep.  Sweet dreams, friends.  (Or if you are lucky, Harry Potter themed dreams.  I found a Horcrux in a dream the other night and it was very cool.)

Blob is back.

Blob is back, blob is back, blob is back.

Speaking of wholesome songs from my childhood, today on Sirius XM radio (Pop2K channel), I heard “What’s Your Fantasy” by Ludacris for the first time since attending/standing-stiffly-with-arms-folded-at Oratory Preparatory middle school dances.  Am I the only one who completely missed the lyrics?  Like, all of them?  It’s quite an exhaustive list.  I almost crashed my car at the (thankfully faded) memory of sixth graders humping each other to this song in a dark, hot gymnasium. SIXTH GRADE.  Are you even ten years old in sixth grade?  When I see a freshman in college now, I’m like, wow, you are a child.  So what do sixth graders look like?  Fetuses?  Terrifying.  How were the chaperones not traumatized by these images?  They must have been drinking to forget.  Feels like the only way to cope.  No wonder my parents hated those dances. 

And this is how I know I’m getting old.  Thoughts like these occur with increasing frequency.  I always remember my dad’s line for when we thought they were being mean parents for not letting us attend this or that event: “You think it’s because we don’t remember, but it’s because we do.”

ANYWAYS, I meant for this post to be a small update, but I think I’ll leave it there.  The Blob is momentarily reactivated.  Details to come.  GOD BLESS.