"Happy holidays."

Today as I was walking home from work, I realized I was feeling rather blobby.  Blobby as in I’m rapidly approaching my winter weight, thanks to successful Thanksgiving festivities.  Thinking about the word “blobby” reminded me I haven’t written in my blog in a while, so after my dinner of Mexican blend shredded cheese...hello.  I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be.  Also I just found myself staring at the word “Thanksgiving” and found myself thinking about that word as well.  We’re pretty lucky the Pilgrims named it “Thanksgiving”—it’s almost as if they could foresee the political correctness shitstorm that would be the 21^st century.  “Thanksgiving” is about as inoffensive, religiously noncommittal, and secular feel-goody as we can get.  It’s also my favorite holiday, so I’m glad people aren’t coming after it because of their triggered feelings.  Well done, Puritans.

I can feel in my blood pressure where this post might be going, so I’d like to preface anything I am about to say with: I am not voting for Donald Trump, he is a hateful and angry man.  (Although the mind-boggling fact that he is still leading the polls makes me think he may be the president our country deserves.  Or at least the nominee the Republican Party deserves.) 

I would, however, like to say this War on Holidays has got to stop.  I’m not super worried about the “War” on Christmas because the religious right isn’t going anywhere.  I am, however, quite disturbed by the WAR ON HALLOWEEN.  What is this garbage.  I hope Yale students can manage to unwad their panties, step out into the world (which, newsflash, is not your “safe space”) and redirect their tears toward actual problems. 

Anyways.  We should talk about happier things.  Like, Thanksgiving.  It was a wonderful, whirlwind trip to Boston.  So, so nice to see all the cousins, aunts, and uncles, and I’m glad Will came along to join the fun.  Maybe next time we will pick less painfully timed flights.  Avoiding being on a plane at 5am (whether at landing or takeoff) could be a good general rule of thumb.  At least our pilot began our flight home with a comforting announcement:

“Blah blah currently 47 degrees in San Francisco, blah blah some turbulence over the Great Plains, blah blah.  And…I know some, if not most, of you may be nervous to travel in light of the recent events……in Paris.  However, we want you to know that we are always in touch with our company and that there are no specific threats against this flight.  So sit back, relax, and enjoy this 6 hour and 6 minute flight to San Francisco.”

Ah yes.  I will.

(Was that our cue to look around and make sure no one was snickering evilly?  Was United test-driving that as a new part of the safety demo?  I will be giving them a piece of my mind in my post-flight survey.)