Mr. Speaker.

Good evening, Mr. Paul….Mr. Ryan…Mr. Paul Ryan.  I admit, I always have to think twice when I’m reading an article about you—is this author referring to the Speaker by his first name? his last name? which one is which?  I suppose with the last name Ryan, you were doomed to be someone with two first names.  Sadly, this is not your only burden.

When you reluctantly took over as Speaker of the House, literally zero people envied you.  The House is a shit show.  You knew this.  I knew this.  But I was glad that you were the one for the job.  You are a decent man and you bring an important perspective to the budget debate.  I thought you could keep down the more deplorable aspects of the Republican party.  Maybe you could kick the crazy.

And yet, here we are.  You, as standard-bearer for your party, feel obligated to endorse its candidate, despite the strong possibility that he is the orange Antichrist. 

Shame on you.

I wonder how it feels to look up at Ted Cruz, basking on his moral high ground.  Another unenviable position for you.  Aren’t you supposed to be the good guy?  It must be infuriating to know that slimeball will always be able to hold these moments over your head.  I can already hear him running for the 2020 primary—“Remember when Paul Ryan was willing to sacrifice his integrity on the altar of party?  Remember my ‘vote your conscience’ speech?  It’s up there with Lincoln’s second inaugural.  We are the party of Lincoln, after all.  Praise Reagan.”

Don’t you think it’s time to stand up for yourself, if not for your country?  Donald Trump does not deserve your loyalty.  He is not your man.  He is not going to advance your agenda.  When has he ever done someone else’s bidding?  (Besides Vladimir Putin’s, of course—who can blame him for having a man-crush on that soulless KGB bod?)

It’s (past) time to grow a pair and withdraw your endorsement.  I think you’ll sleep better.  Don’t wait to see how low he will go.   

We miss your smile.