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| Peter asks, "Which member of the Eagles looks most like a skeleton?" |
Those of you who do not
dedicate a Christmas evening to sending senior citizens off into the American
pantheon are truly missing out.
Every year, the Kennedy Center chooses a handful of
actors/musicians/directors/entertainers to honor with a lifetime achievement
award. They put on a big glitzy
show and bring in other celebrities to pay homage to the honorees. It’s kind of similar to the “In
Memoriam” segment of the Oscars, but the people are still alive. The President and First Lady sit up in
the box with all the honorees.
During any musical number, the camera pans up to the presidential box
and we get to see everyone really feeling the music (see 1:00 and 2:32 marks).
While I enjoy learning
about the honorees’ lives and careers, I particularly love how awkward some of these tributes are. The most
bizarre in recent memory was Martin Short’s tribute to Tom Hanks in 2014. At the end, Martin breaks
out into an elaborate “Yankee Doodle Dandy” song and dance number (no, you are
not forgetting Tom Hank’s hit role in Yankee Doodle Dandy. Yes, it was an odd choice for a Tom
Hanks tribute). If you can’t
stomach the whole thing, at least skip to the 16:10 mark—even Tom is like, wtf
is happening. Don’t miss 17:30 for
a tap dancing child prodigy and Tom Hanks again being like, wtf. Now envision in the same show, a sitar
tribute to Sting and frequent camera pans to him clapping like a poorly
programmed animatronic (9:40). Like I
said, you’re missing out if this is not part of your holiday tradition.
This year's show could not escape a certain bittersweet atmosphere. It was, of course, the last time a normal human president will preside over the event for quite some time, perhaps forever. Attending the Kennedy Center Honors is just one of the many
ceremonial duties I cannot quite envision for our
president-elect. (Reading books to schoolchildren, throwing out the first
pitch, and giving State of the Union are others.) Can we expect him to sit through an entire
evening honoring other people? Will his vanity allow it? Our child-in-chief might need to bring
his iPad. Imagine the tweets
coming from the president’s box.
My show THE APPRENTICE got higher ratings than anything <insert actual honoree> has ever done! Where is my award? Very unfair!
I have to spend the evening with Hollywood elite—would rather focus on YOU, the American people!
But let's be real. I think we all can predict what's in store for the 2017 Kennedy Center Honors.
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| Melania would rather be in her tower. |
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| With a special tribute from surprise guest, Vlad! |
*I know I promised not to name or depict our president-elect for the rest of 2016. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. But...are you not entertained??
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| Vlad can't HEAR you! |
